Private Diary of Kuchiki Byakuya
by Makethingshappen
Summary: Kuchiki Byakuya's innermost thoughts. Follows bleach plot slightly, but its Renji in place of Hisana. Yaoi in later chapters. ByaXRen ON HIATUS TILL DEC : EXAM PERIOD


My first time ever writing something like a diary! Please be lenient and don't forget to comment. The first chapter is a little boring though.

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My younger days

1st May

Dear Diary, this is to be my very first entry. I am about to reveal all my innermost thoughts, things I will never tell anyone else. I shall hide you in an extremely safe place, do not worry. I suppose here starts my tale, the story of a young heir to the Head of the Kuchiki family.

Ever since I could remember, everyone around me had very high expectations of me. It was only to be expected, I am the heir to one of the four great noble clans in Seireitei after all. Arguably the greatest one at the moment, as the elders would say. (That statement was undoubtedly meant to satisfy their overfed egos.) However, I did not want to learn. I wanted to be like other children, to laugh, to play and roam freely about the land as I wished. Never once have I ever done so in the entirety of my 25 years.

Every day, my schedule was the same. Calligraphy classes in the morning, the academy in the afternoon, and sword practice in the evening. The only time that was left free would be the one hour before I slept. I would usually spend that precious hour strolling in the garden. The sakura trees, their branches shaking softly in the gentle wind, seemed to call to me, as if they wanted to tell me something. On lovely nights where the sky was cloudless, I would sit on the bough of the greatest sakura tree in the garden, and look at the gleaming white moon. So pale and lovely, and yet so fragile. The walks through the garden were soothing; they moulded my angry thoughts into peaceful ones. The angry thoughts that came with the scolding the elders always gave me.

They would say that I was merely an untalented young boy, who had none of the great Kuchiki genes. However, I inherited something that the elders could not dispute about; the ebony hair and slate-grey eyes of my forebears. It was the only concrete proof that I was a Kuchiki. I wonder what my deceased mother and father would have thought of me. I never knew my mother who died in childbirth, and my father passed away when I was the mere age of five. I could not remember much of him, only a gentle smile always reserved for me, and a lingering sadness in the grey eyes so similar to mine. I suppose my father had loved my mother very much, unlike most noble families who had convenient marriages to upgrade their status.

The only words I could remember from him were those he spoke upon his deathbed. "My dearest son, you must strive not just to be the head of the Kuchiki family in name only, but in spirit as well. Honourable, aloof and yet compassionate. Never look down on those who are less fortunate than you. I hope you can become a son I will be proud of when we meet again." With those words, and a gentle smile on his kind face, his grey eyes fluttered shut forevermore. The child I was did not understand the concept of death; I only knew that I would never see my father's smiling face again.

Overcome with sadness, I sobbed till my breaths came in ragged pants, and my grandfather was the one to pick up the pieces. He hugged my small self tightly to his body, and conveyed with his hands what he did not say in words. A strange wetness seeped through my clothes then, and I remember clearly the only time my grandfather cried. From that day on, grandfather looked after me, always doting on me, as we only had each other. Grandmother had long passed on as well.

As I grew to the current age I am now, the Kuchiki elders were increasingly insistent upon the fact that I had to be trained to accept the title of the next head of the Kuchiki clan. My grandfather, too, wanted me to succeed him. So, I pushed myself hard in learning the etiquette, how to conduct myself properly as the next head. From then on, I rarely smiled or laughed. The etiquette master said it was unseemly for nobles to display any emotion. I was also taught to walk slowly and elegantly no matter what situation I was in, to always emit an aura of power and grace. Soon, I could do everything gracefully. I remember a certain unfortunate incident, when I tripped and fell down the huge flight of stairs in the Kuchiki manor. On that particular day, the party for nobles was held at my home. As I fell, I remembered what the etiquette master threatened to do to me if I did not conduct myself gracefully at the party. Immediately, my legs straightened, and I flipped three times before landing on my feet at the bottom of the stairs. Apparently, the other nobles were so impressed by the landing that they just stood there, open mouthed. But for me who had many lessons in barehanded combat, it was a daily occurrence to do so during lessons when sparring with my sensei.

From that incident on, everybody around me held me in awe, even my fellow nobles. No one dared to speak to me informally and just referred to me as 'Kuchiki sama'. I never had a childhood; I was forced to grow up at an early age.

There was one person, just one person who treated me informally and without restraint. Shihōin Yoruichi, the Shihōin princess. She had the impudence to snatch away my hairband every single time we met. Even though I always treated her with coolness and irritation, I actually considered her my good friend. She was the only one I could be myself with, and ignore all the nonsensical noble rules. She was my only friend.

Though the commoners would think that my life was a bed of roses, it was never that way. I had to work so hard to earn the recognition of others. I was not the genius or prodigy that others hailed me as. I was merely an average person, with average ability. However, I put in many hours of work and started training since I was four with specialised tutors. Hence, I was always the first in Hohou, Zanjutsu and Kido. I could use shunpo continuously for 4 hours without a break. I knew my Zanpakutō's name and could use the shikai already. In fact, I could perform up to bakudo or hado 60 without an incantation. I was far away from my classmates, who could not even use shunpo properly, did not know their Zanpakutō's name and could not even do level ten kido without incantation. They were as far away from me as the Sky and the Earth.

I was ready to graduate after half a year in the academy. The instructors there said that they could not teach me anything more, that I was already at the level of a lieutenant.

Sure enough, after graduation, I was assigned to the sixth squad. I rose up the ranks quickly, distinguishing myself with my superior battle skills. I became the lieutenant of my grandfather, the captain of the sixth squad.

Life was monotonous in my early years, boring even but little did I know that it would all change in the blink of an eye, just when I was least expecting it. Nor would I ever believe that the person who changed my life would be a guy, no less. Abarai Renji.

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Ahahaha what do you think? Next chapter will be the fiery meeting between Renji and Byakuya!


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